Middle-child syndrome is not a rare occurrence. And that’s because they learned not to count on her help from an early age. They tend to have a more distant relationship with their moms. But the truth is our middle children do still need us, even if they look fine and appear so self-sufficient.īirth-order science tells us that middle children are the least likely of all children in the family to reach out to their parents for help when they need it. And the list of responsibilities and distractions is growing by the second. ![]() And that’s not even counting the unexpected things thrown at us like spilled milk and a lost shoe when you’re already running late.Īccording to last year’s survey, 86% of moms experience burnout occasionally, and 41% frequently. Most of the things we need to do had to be done five minutes ago. …and we find ourselves running from one task to another, foaming at the mouth and groaning with exertion from sunrise to bedtime. ![]() We will do anything to make sure that they are safe, secure, and loved. We love them with the fierce, aching, all-encompassing love of a mama bear. We don’t need to be reminded to love all our children. After all, they can ask their older siblings for help, and they can warm up their own food. You see, there are four of them, while there is only one of me! So, intentions be damned, but the siren call of shortcuts is inevitable, and gradually, over time, I begin to slide into an unfortunate habit of blowing off my middle children. And I try, I really try to give all my children hugs, kisses, eye contact, listening time…but time is a limited commodity, and sometimes (all the time), there is something else important that demands my attention. I’ve promised myself that I will treat all my children equally, and that none of my children will ever suffer from the forgotten-middle-child syndrome. They are often “old enough” to do things for themselves, while no longer “old enough” to be fussed about as when they were babies. The youngest keeps me riveted with all her lasts: last-child, last stroller rider, last “ Mommy, carry me” child. The oldest keeps me highly involved with all his firsts: first teenager, first bike rider, first OMG, your feet are bigger than mine! child. The bottom shelf in the fridge,” I replied, turning away from him to take the “baby’s” snack to the table. “ You can warm up some chicken noodle soup. My eight-year-old son looked away, disappointed. “ Just wait for one of your siblings,” I said distractedly, “ they can help you.” “ How about my math?” he demanded loudly. That’s when one of my super energetic middle children frog-jumped across the kitchen and landed on the floor at my feet. ![]() I told my oldest that I would help him divide fractions as soon as I finished making the snack. My youngest was sitting under the table, building a den, and waiting for her snack. My oldest was sitting at the kitchen table sweating over his math books. The other afternoon I caught myself doing it again. If you worry about “the middle child syndrome” in your family, this article is for you. Inside: Get a free printable list of activities to connect with your middle child and accountability sheet.
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